Saturday, July 4, 2009

Anatomy practice: human skull.

Could use much improvement, but I'm just starting.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Goofy in Virginia Beach.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

you'll be the death of me, baby you're my home sweet homicide

So, I love blogger, but the layout is way too complex for my lazy self to figure it out. I like simple. I wish my blogger were cuter :(

- Found a new band I like. I Hate Kate. Here's how it happened: I was watching television, and a car commercial came on. I really liked the song in the background. I decided to investigate to see what the song was. It was Major Tom (Comin' Home) by Shiny Toy Guns. I looked up the song to see if it was a cover, and it turned out it was. I Hate Kate had also covered it, and upon checking out their MySpace, I fell in love. (I Hate Kate's version of Major Tom (Coming Home). All audio files are in AAC format, because frankly, mp3 is a waste.)

- I don't like it when people don't respond to emails. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S A BUSINESS'S EMAIL. & I know it's not an outdated email or something, because they responded to me the day before I emailed them again.

- When the air's on, I freeze. When it's off, I hate everything.

- I♥LadyGaga.



-
'nuff said. Want 'em.

- Slept in 'til four today. Really.

- Watched Death Proof last night. Rose McGowan=♥. Fo'realz.

- Went to Bryton's graduation party yesterday. Saw Pandhra almost die.

- I'm going to start to add some sort of rhyme and/or reason to my posts. I promise.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dear God, if you were alive, you know we'd kill you.

So.. here goes:

♥ Took Chem & Civics exams yesterday (as in Tuesday)
♥ Chem tests make me braindead, so I write haikus on them.
♥♥ gentle as a flame
but sharp as a stake of ice
crushing completely
♥ Get to take Band & English today.
♥ Chromatic scale = FML. Not difficult, but the triplets make me trip.
♥ I actually know my minor scales. w00t.
♥ major scales = could do them in my sleep.
♥ Remember that thing about me hating piccolo? LIES. Totally want to play pic for marching season. & not because I'm lazy. Because we're playing Pictures at an Exhibition and I want to be HEARD. I<3Pictures at an Exhibition.
♥ Probably won't be moving 'til the beginning of July. Which is cool because I'd hate to have to pack for Virginia while moving.
♥ Tentative schedule for next year:
♥♥ 1. Psychology/Sociology
♥♥ 2. English 12
♥♥ 3. Physics
♥♥ 4. Spanish 3
♥♥ 5. Band
♥♥ 6. French 4
♥♥ 7. Calculus
♥♥ 8. Anatomy (might be switched out for an internship)
♥ Speaking of which, I might get to work with Mrs. Barthel. She tutors littl'uns. Reading and stuff. Exciting. I love little kids. & Mrs. Barthel.
♥ In addition to working on Spanish & French a ton on my own, I've taken on learning Italian, German, and Russian. Russian = FML. Not actually difficult. I can read Cyrillic, no problem. I recognize words almost instantly. Typing without a Cyrillic keyboard (even a virtual one)? awful. I had to copy & paste EVERYTHING. Virtual keyboard is provided for the few letters with accents in French, sure. Spanish? Of course. German? Mhm. Italian? yup. The one language with an entirely different alphabet, twenty-one letters of which don't even resemble letters in the latin alphabet? Of course not. That would be silly. I wanted to eventually take on Arabic, but not if it's going to be this difficult just to type out the words.
♥ I love Edith Piaf. & France Gall. & Serge Gainsbourg. & Gojira. J'aime beaucoup les musiques françaises. (most likely a French phail)
♥ I still haven't bought the new Manson album. I still haven't even HEARD it. I'm still not stressing. This is weird. & I don't think it's because of the mild disappointment of Eat Me, Drink Me.
♥ I'm kind of tan. It was really nice like, all of Memorial Day weekend. I walked Ruby so much. Poor puppy.
♥ By the way, she climbed the stairs earlier. They are now blocked off.
♥ Almond butter = win. Epic win.
♥ That is all.

xoxo.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.

Totally just quoted FOB. I know, I actually like them.

Bought Nylon at CVS.

I want that Polaroid PoGo thing. It's $100, but so friggin' cool.

Reading Troilus and Cressida.

Didn't go to school today.

Apparently failing quite a few of my classes.

Exciting about (most likely) taking physics at Buchannan next year. I would probably cut out band, because it being everyday means it eats up two blocks. Not getting rid of theatre, not getting rid of phych & soc, not getting rid of French or Spanish, can't get rid of English or calc. Even though I'm only required three math credits, I failed last semester of precalc.

I hate my piccolo. It's annoying. Why would anyone play such a high-pitched instrument? I like my flute, though.

I'm so out of shape. If I'd finished my 15-minute workout today, my arms would have killed me. I wish I could run. Stupid foot. Because of you, I need to get some upper-body strength so I can actually work out. Yay for fitness ondemand & 3-pound hand weights.

I volunteered to read one of the in-between poems at the collage concert. w00t. I didn't like that Langston Hughes one, though. It was more proselike. No rhythm. The only thing that would make it cool is if we really had someone acting it out, like she said.

Last year, I posted a quote from White Oleander, and recently, it keeps coming to mind. "What was the point in such loneliness among people. At least if you were by yourself, you had a good reason to be lonely." I'm sick of pretending to like people. I'm a loner anyway. I have a few friends who I genuinely like. Most are either convenient or tolerated. Social situations make me panic. I realized how pathetic I was last night, when one of my mom's friends was asking me simple questions, and I had no idea how to answer. It's not shyness, I just don't know what to say, or how to act. I hate it. I try to avoid it. Gah..

Posting smart things to my other blog, Memento Mori, from now on. Nothing there yet.

bye xxx

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Moonlight.

My absolute favorite song, out of every genre, out of every time period, is the first movement of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 14, the "Moonlight" sonata. Something about this song picks at my mind when I think about it.
First off, I can never remember it. I listen to it constantly, but to think of how it goes, I can recall the last two chords (which used to irritate me, but we'll get to that in a bit), and that's all. The first notes of the piece, the ones that immediately capture me when I hear it, hide somewhere in the recesses of my mind. I listen to quite a bit of classical music, and could easily hum another piece I'm as familiar with as I am this sonata, but not this one.
Second, the last two chords I mentioned before, I used to hate them. If you haven't heard this piece, it's like a dream, or a spell of some sort. It's beautiful, mournful, silently happy, ethereal. The last two chords are brash (in my opinion), compared with the rest of a relatively soft piece. Very recently, I've come to the conclusion that they break the spell. That it has you under the entire time, and allows you those last two chords to come to. Remember reality, that this beauty can't last forever.
It's also timeless. Despite the fact that it was written about two-hundred years ago, if you didn't know this, you may not immediately place it. It sounds like it could come from any time. Like, if the piano had not come to be, if we only knew how to sing or hum, this song could still exist.
Occasionally, when I hear the first few notes, I stop what I'm doing. I don't always intend to, but I almost don't want to continue on with anything while it's playing. It renders me speechless, breathless, and blank.
It feels like my soul. Some music feeds your soul, this feels as if it actually is my soul. Like it's a part of me, a very significant part. I can't really compare myself to something so pure, so beautiful, but I think the state of my own self, the ways in which I've been tarnished by my actions, my thoughts, I believe this is all irrelevant. That something can be preserved in a not-quite-tangible format, and you are yourself again, once reconciled with this thing.
For some strange reason, when I try to bring this song to the surface of my mind, I instead get Andare by Ludovico Einaudi. There may be something small in the face of both songs that relates them. A reason my mind has linked the two. But Andare, though beautiful in it's own right, is so very pale in comparison to the "Moonlight" sonata.

I understand it's probably strange to put so much thought into a simple song. Not even a whole song, but a third of a song. But you must have something similar.

Where do you keep your soul?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

God and Faerytales

So, today, in English, Ally and I got to talking about the Greek gods (I believe), and their immortality. Basically we were arguing over whether immortal gods could die or not. I was trying to tell her that immortality and invincibility were not the same thing. That just because you could live forever, didn't mean you would.
Eventually, this lead to other immortal beings, and she said something about God being crucified, and I said "No, that would be Jesus." (I've yet to hear of a Christian belief that says it wasn't him.) & Ally, knowing I am an atheist (and not liking it very much) tried to trap me in my own words. She said something along the lines of "So you don't believe that God can die?", which the simple retort I had was "No, if he existed, I do not believe he could."
& people always try to do things like this. Just because I know the bible, know the stories and the beliefs, doesn't mean I see it as anything more than a story.
That would be like saying that simply because I know that Snow White lived with seven dwarves for a period of time, that I believe she was real. I know a lot of stories. I love stories. The bible contains a number of them that I rather enjoy. It doesn't mean I take any of it to heart.
Do I think it's foolish that some people still believe what's in the bible? Yes, but as I considered myself Christian for the longest time (I'd been doubting my beliefs since I was six or seven, but it didn't occur to me until recently that I'd never really believed in God.)

On a similar note, Ally asked me why I went to communion if I didn't believe in God. The fact that I'm seventeen, thus a minor and under my parents rule didn't make sense to her, apparently. She asked me why I went to fellowship too, and when I said I had to, she didn't get that either. When I made a comment about no one really wanting to go to church or wherever, she said that she actually did. Which I guess is commendable. I hate that so many people go for fear of Hell. Why would you want to spend eternity with a god you don't even want to hear about? I guess it is better than an eternity of torture. (Somewhere between Dante's Inferno and the Sandman, I've acquired a clear picture of Hell in my mind.)

Anyway, that's all I had to say.
xoxo

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Communion and other stuff.

Somehow a straight-edge atheist taking communion seems like a conflict of interest.

Anyways. Right when Jeff told us to stand up before he gave us the bread, Sarah pretty much failed at life. Not only did she *attempt* to stand after everyone was up, she fell down. I had to really try to not laugh. -besolemnbesolemnbesolemn-

I have a really bad sore throat, and I actually cringed before drinking the wine. It kind of helped though, despite the astringency.

We have these little cups now. We used to just all take a sip from the same glass. Now, they've obtained creepy little sip-sized cups.

I hate it when people don't sing properly. My mom is not only fairly monotone, but she's like.. mumbling the words. THEY ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Guh.

This is day three of vegetarianism. Kind of exciting. I missed it. But I've got to find something I like for dinner today. Not a huge ham fan anyway, so it only sucks that that would have probably been all I had to eat. No potatoes or other vegetables. Ugh. I wanted to make eggplant, but I couldn't find a good recipe. Guh.. help?

Went over to Jaki's at like.. 11:30 last night. Had place & bake Valentine's cookies. & taco Doritos. With Mountain Dew. Camped out in her kitchen forever. Talked. Watched 1,000 Ways To Die.

After communion, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Wanted to get the Graveyard Book, but it was $17.99. For a children's book. Seriously. Forever ago I had Coraline (I read it in like.. fourth grade, and I had it for a while before then.) but I have no idea where it is.

I hate Krispy Kreme doughnuts. & Martin's isn't open. bleh.


[edit]
So I've decided I'll eat meat on Easter, Thanksgiving, and maybe Christmas. See, This time around, I don't give a damn about what the elitist veg*ns think. So there. Ate ham.
[/edit]

xoxo

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

baby cactus



So, Sarah, mom, and I were watching Twilight (stfu, I know. But if we're going to talk about embarrassingly bad things I secretly like, I also have Jonas Brothers on my iPod.), and about ^there in the film my sister goes

"eeeee baby cactus! He's soooo cayute! He's my favourite character in the movie." (all in a high-pitched voice)

So now I'm planning on getting her a baby cactus for Easter. I think I'll name him Leo. He'll be the cutest baby cactus you ever did see.

In other news: I watched this show that was on a few years ago on HBO called Carnivàle. It was really good. Why am I not surprised it was cancelled. (Shows I really liked: Dark Angel, 2 seasons; Moonlight, 1 season; Valentine, 4 episodes; see where I'm going?)

aaaand.. I forgot my flute at school so I have to practice on my piccolo over break. I hate that damned midget instrument. And I slept in till three today. And I'm going through this weird Neil Gaiman addiction right now. And my room has no heat AND IT SNOWED TODAY. DOUBLEYEW.TEE.EFF.

I'm so cold at this point, thinking has been moved down on my list of priorities.

Bye, loves!
xoxo

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Quotes from my sister and her friend

Me: Sarah, what are you doing?
Sarah: Singing along.
Me: To what?
Sarah: You don't hear that music coming from the wall?
-----
"Don't touch me like that!" -- Jessica
-----
Jessica: ah ah ah ah
Sarah: Too big for you?
------
"Sarah, you can end this all now. Do it. You have the power to end this all right now." --Jessica
-----
"You ever inhale and realize that sucks because you have to exhale now?" --Sarah
-----
Sarah: -finishes braiding my hair-
Sarah: lollerskates rahghraghrahgh
-----
"g-r-h-y" --Jessica
-----
"Your mom's dead, Jessica! -hysterical laughter-" --Sarah
-----
Bethany: So basically, every time someone dies in your life, you win.
Jessica: Okay, don't put it like that.
-----
"Like pillcrusher pouch." -- Sarah
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"I love you Bethany. You're my sister, and that makes me love you like a sister." --Sarah
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"I have a rainbow penis." --Sarah
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"Sarah, remember that one time I was just standing there, and you just shoved me to the ground for no reason?" --Jessica
-----
Bethany: Sarah flinched every time I move.
Jessica: That's cool. I do that every time Julian picks up a knife.